TODAY

Today I've had lots of thoughts. I'm sitting in Starbucks right now, with lap top and coffee in hand. Actually, today I opted for the chai latte. Why? Because it's cold and rainy, and the chai latte has a way of reminding me of the warmth of the holidays. It's actually a miracle that I have 2 hours to do whatever I want. I came here needing to get some work done, but I find myself wanting to blog instead. It's been a crazy week. Ryan had surgery on Monday. And although the surgery went really well, I still find it emotionally draining for both of us. It's true you get sympathy pains for the ones you love. On Monday during his 2-hour procedure, I felt a little "sick" and distracted from everything else.  Then, when I sat by his side as he was all doped up, I got emotional. I think it's normal to feel emotional when your spouse is in a state of being completely unaware of things that are happening... when what seems 'normal' is no longer there. I hated that he had to have surgery, but I thank the Lord for allowing it to happen. He's had severe pain in his ears for a while now. The worst thing about it... I couldn't do anything to take that pain away. I love my husband, and all the things that make him who he is. And I hate seeing him hurt. God knew that he needed this surgery on Monday. The cyst that was found in his left ear had significantly grown, and it grew very quickly. But now it's gone. Praise the Lord it's gone. Sometimes the recovery process is harder than the procedure. That's where we are now. He's recovering. And I have full faith that the Lord will use this surgery to heal his ears... and that he will hear better than he did before. I've been stretched over the last few days... stretched in a new way. My patience has been challenged. I've had to learn how to take care of a recovering patient and a very active baby boy at the same time. And I've been reminded that I can't do it all in my own strength.  So that's why I'm here right now. I'm getting re-charged, if you will. Both the boys went down for a nap, so I jumped on the opportunity to take a break. 

I was reminded about humility this morning in Luke 14... that part of the definition of humility is being willing and ready to serve, not for personal gain, but simply just to serve. So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to love and serve my husband and son well. And in the midst of it, I feel the Lord humbling my heart through it all. God is good. I love how He uses every experience in our lives (big or small) to teach us something about ourselves. I think that's one of the ways He shows us grace. So I'm depending on Him to love well... to love Graham well, even when he's throwing a tantrum while I'm trying to change his diaper and get dinner ready, etc. Ha! I know this is just life. But life is funny and challenging sometimes, so it helps me to process on paper...or on the blog. 

So anyway, that's where I am now. About time for me to head back home and love on those boys of mine! I have hopes that Ryan will feel more like himself in a day or two. Thanks to all of you who lifted up a prayer or two for his sake. I know God heard you.

Hmmm... maybe I should get a drink to go, too...